What exactly is “complex trauma”?
Complex trauma is the exposure to repeated, prolonged, and severe traumatic experiences, often beginning in childhood. It is estimated to affect 1 in 4 Australian adults and is very different from single-event trauma. To learn more, read our detailed guide about complex trauma.
Navigating the challenges of loving someone with complex trauma
Loving someone with unresolved complex trauma can be incredibly challenging. It’s often met with well-meaning but unhelpful advice from others, such as, “You need to leave them,” “They’ll never change,” or “Don’t you want to be with someone normal?” Whether the person with trauma is a partner, friend, parent, sibling, or spouse, the situation can feel overwhelming.
However, abandoning someone because they’re unable to access the right treatment can feel deeply unfair. Complex trauma, at its core, is an illness, and with the right treatment, its impact can be fully managed. The true challenge lies in finding that treatment.
This is where Complex Trauma WA (COTWA) aims to make a difference. Our directory of qualified practitioners provides access to professionals who have committed significant time and dedication to working with complex trauma. Practitioners listed in the spatial directory have undergone extensive training and professional development, offering reassurance that they are equipped to help.
“You are not required to set yourself on FIRE to keep others warm“
Anonymous
Prioritising safety and self-care
It is crucial to prioritise your own safety and personal well-being. If someone isn’t willing to seek help, or if their behaviour creates an unsafe or unsustainable environment, it’s okay to step away and focus on self-care. There is no judgement in making that choice.
Sometimes, a temporary separation can provide clarity and an opportunity for growth on both sides. For some, this distance can offer a chance to recharge and reassess, while also giving loved ones the space to realise the importance of addressing their challenges.
How to offer support
Recognise that while you cannot fix someone with complex trauma, you can provide meaningful support on their journey to healing. The Blue Knot Foundation offers an excellent guide on how to support a loved one with complex trauma. Click here to read it.
While visiting the Blue Knot Foundation website, explore their section for supporters. It includes valuable information such as how to support yourself, factsheets, understanding trauma, and how to talk to your loved one about their trauma.
Review our collection of helpful, clinically responsible resources to better understand complex trauma and available support options.
Use our spatial directory of trauma-trained therapists to identify professionals who may be a good fit for your loved one
Visit the survivors page for insights into what to expect from trauma therapy, as well as guidance on accessing rebates and financial assistance for treatment.